Article by Rachel Givney

Are you suffering from an inadequate iPod playlist? Was your burgeoning flirtation with that Portuguese barista from Pret stymied when he caught you listening to Blue’s greatest hits? Did the buxom girl who runs the fish counter at Tescos – Tuesdays and Thursdays – give you a fake number after sighting your iPod contained Bucks Fizz and the Crazy Frog Song remix?

We’ve all been there. Whenever someone inspects your iPod it’s like you are on trial at the Hague. People take the songs on your playlist as an indication of your music taste and your worth as a human being in general. No amount of cool will save you if a friend glances Madonna’s cover of “American Pie” on your mix tape. Let anyone see your back catalog of Vengaboys and you are the musical equivalent of the man selling the used tin foil outside Sainsburys. Do you spend six months of the year inoculating orphans in Eritrea? Who cares. If someone finds Los Del Rio’s comeback album (the post Macarena years) on your walkman you might as well be Hitler. Do you have tonnes of cash and work in a cracking film job in Soho? Big deal. If you have Jason Donovan’s Christmas album on your mp3 you might as well be a reserve chimney sweep in Staines. If you want to know the real story behind Wills and Kate Middleton’s break up 3 years ago, it was because he spotted Michael Bolton on her minidisc and suddenly felt he could no longer commit. Some people guard their playlists with their lives, and for good reason. They could not bear the shame of revealing to their nearest and dearest that they secretly prefer Celine Dion’s cover of “You Shook Me All Night Long” to the ACDC original.

If you have anything by Steps, Mike and the Mechanics or Insane Clown Posse on your iPod, you are in need of help. But never fear! MACS London is here to help you. Simply download any of these three artists to your iPod to get instant street cred and never be embarrassed about your musical shortcomings again. Just one of these songs placed creatively in the mix will balance out at least ten Vanilla Ice tracks and two Kenny G solo releases. Betty from the fish counter will be giving you extra cod all this summer. Yes, she knows they’re endangered.

Yeasayers
Experimental rock band from Brooklyn, New York, they’re just ‘folky’ enough to be out of top-40 radio rotation while their eccentric lyrics are just confusing enough to make people conclude they must be frightfully clever.

Florence + Machine
After rocketing to mid-level fame after “You’ve Got The Love” featured on Sex and The City; this homegrown indie-rock darling has just returned from a triumphant stint at this year’s Glastonbury. She’s got at least another three months before Rolling Stone destroys her with a rave review and she becomes more ubiquitous than Aled Jones.

Grizzly Bear
Described as psychedelic experimental folk pop rock, these guys’ songs are often quite unpleasant and actually hurt the ears to listen, meaning that if you don’t get street cred, you will at least get respect for putting your ears at risk in the pursuit of cool.